Hope for aspiring novelists
Aug. 10th, 2010 05:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blatherskiteEver wonder why your novel was rejected? The Onion reveals the real reasons aspiring novelists get the cold shoulder from New York publishers (quoted from the 4 August 2010 page of their desk calendar):
9%: Love no longer a universal theme.
12%: Too many hyphens.
22%: Misspelled the word "lotion" on page 367.
20%: Cover had Oprah disapproval sticker.
18%: Agent not in story as promised.
19%: Could be fatally exciting.
Avoid these problems and you're sure to be the next Steven King.*
* You definitely won't be the next Stephen King.
Sadly, much of the fecal (reading) matter that emerges from the nether orifices of the New York publishing industry suggests that these reasons may not be as fantastical as one would hope.
9%: Love no longer a universal theme.
12%: Too many hyphens.
22%: Misspelled the word "lotion" on page 367.
20%: Cover had Oprah disapproval sticker.
18%: Agent not in story as promised.
19%: Could be fatally exciting.
Avoid these problems and you're sure to be the next Steven King.*
* You definitely won't be the next Stephen King.
Sadly, much of the fecal (reading) matter that emerges from the nether orifices of the New York publishing industry suggests that these reasons may not be as fantastical as one would hope.