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The myth: The brawny barbarian warrior is striding proudly through the forest, when all of a sudden, a giant cat (cougar, say, or something even nastier, probably 400+ pounds of battle-hardened muscle and whipcord) leaps upon him, fangs bared and claws extended. Shrugging his massive thews, he throws the irate feline from his back, faces it barehanded, and then proceeds to kill it (possibly using his belt knife for dramatic effect), suffering a few painful scratches in so doing and shedding literarily impressive but physiologically meaningless quantities of blood.

The reality: The urbanite editor goes for his post-lunch nap, and Ben, our male kitty (all of 13 pounds, with a belly full of kibble) accompanies him, hoping for an afternoon cuddle before I go back to work. As I lie down, something startles him, and he lashes out by reflex, slashing a deep 1.5-cm-wide cut in my hand with a single talon. Blood pours out, and it takes more than 5 minutes to sta(u)nch the wound. Fortunately, he missed an artery, and I've taken first aid and have some antibacterial cream in the house. If I don't return to the blog in a week or so, you can assume the blood poisoning got me. Send catnip to the funeral. *G*

The moral of our story: I'm here to tell you, if a teeny little hellion like Ben can inflict that kind of damage purely by accident, without pursuing his attack after the first swipe, I'm not giving the aforementioned barbarian great odds, and you shouldn't either. If he's gonna fight that Sabertooth, then pace Edgar Rice Burroughs, arm him with a very large sword or axe, and at least 2 inches of hardened leather armor to cover his hide. Otherwise, we're talking Conan the Soon to Be Cat Feces.
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