Hand signals for philosophy referees
Jun. 30th, 2014 02:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
blatherskiteIn honor of the World Cup, with help from Boing Boing, a guide to understanding the signals referees give at philosophical debates. Of course, the ne plus ultra of this genre is Greek versus German philosophers soccer match skit.
The biggest omission is the one where the ref grabs his throat with both hands and makes a choking movement. This is the signal for "Socrates defeats the state logically, but the state defeats Socrates emphatically".
Now we just need a set for reviewers of speculative fiction. Here are some starting suggestions:
Alien abduction: Referee borrows a flag from one of the linesmen, turns his back on the camera, and thrusts the stick up their shorts. Automatic yellow card for ref if the flag goes up anything more than the shorts.
Big dumb object: Referee sticks out their belly, holds arms widespread at chest level, arching backwards behind them as if doing a swan dive, while sticking their tongue out, bugging out their eyes, and doing one of the strutting chicken walks from Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks skit.
Slashy character pairing: Referee turns back on camera, places hands behind back of head, and starts running fingers playfully through own hair. Automatic red card for the offending player.
"As you know, Jim" / infodump: Referee makes a disembodied mouth with their hand, and makes repeated talking motions. For the infodump variant, both hands are used.
Trilogy warning: Referee holds up three fingers on one hand, and the middle finger of the other hand.
Space opera: Referee goes to one knee and holds left hand dramatically in the air, while making diva-like lip-synching motions.
Parallel universe story: Referee and both linesmen, in perfect synch, walk straight towards the camera, with the linesmen wearing the drama comedy/tragedy masks. At the last moment before striking the camera, the two masked figures make sharp outward turns.
Excessively emo moment: Refereee falls to the ground, clutching at their knee and grimacing like someone kneed them in the bollocks. If you've ever watched a soccer (football) match, you know what this looks like. Automatic red card.
The biggest omission is the one where the ref grabs his throat with both hands and makes a choking movement. This is the signal for "Socrates defeats the state logically, but the state defeats Socrates emphatically".
Now we just need a set for reviewers of speculative fiction. Here are some starting suggestions:
Alien abduction: Referee borrows a flag from one of the linesmen, turns his back on the camera, and thrusts the stick up their shorts. Automatic yellow card for ref if the flag goes up anything more than the shorts.
Big dumb object: Referee sticks out their belly, holds arms widespread at chest level, arching backwards behind them as if doing a swan dive, while sticking their tongue out, bugging out their eyes, and doing one of the strutting chicken walks from Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks skit.
Slashy character pairing: Referee turns back on camera, places hands behind back of head, and starts running fingers playfully through own hair. Automatic red card for the offending player.
"As you know, Jim" / infodump: Referee makes a disembodied mouth with their hand, and makes repeated talking motions. For the infodump variant, both hands are used.
Trilogy warning: Referee holds up three fingers on one hand, and the middle finger of the other hand.
Space opera: Referee goes to one knee and holds left hand dramatically in the air, while making diva-like lip-synching motions.
Parallel universe story: Referee and both linesmen, in perfect synch, walk straight towards the camera, with the linesmen wearing the drama comedy/tragedy masks. At the last moment before striking the camera, the two masked figures make sharp outward turns.
Excessively emo moment: Refereee falls to the ground, clutching at their knee and grimacing like someone kneed them in the bollocks. If you've ever watched a soccer (football) match, you know what this looks like. Automatic red card.